| Urine
Test |
One
day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike, who is behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies. "There's
a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper
than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries
back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too
hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a
cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better!
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