Why Do Men...?

Why do men love at first sight?
It saves time.

Why do men have a clean conscience?
They have never used it.

Why do men love cars and bykes so much?
These at least they can control.

Why do men bend their heads when they think?
So that the two neurons touch each other.

What is the difference between the brain of a man and an olive?
The colour.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half an hour of begging.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?
Both are empty from the neck up.

What is the difference between a man and a cup of coffee?
None, both go on your nerves.

What is the difference between a man and a cat?
None, both are afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

How does a man show he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How do you call a handsome, intelligent and sensitive man?
Gay.

Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?
They are still going through adolescence.

What do the men have in common who visit singles bars?
They are all married.

Why do men have different faces?
So that you can tell them apart.

What do clouds and men have in common?
When they are gone you can hope for a better day.

Which are the ideal measurements for men?
80 - 20 - 42 (80 years of age, 20 Mio £ in the bank and 42 degrees of fiever).

Why do men have bent legs?
Things which do not matter are often put in brackets.

Why do men drive better than women?
Because the statistics are elaborated by men.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We do not know as it has never happened.