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send me a joke www.punyajokes.com – design by punyaweb.net Newsletter No. 44 - 29th February 2008
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Internet B.C.

dynosaur's head through monitor

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it – Credit: Narendra

Big Brother (article)

to read the article by Kim Murphy of the Los Angeles Times (2007-10-19) click on picture – Credit: Bhagawati

Have you missed out on the previous issues?

A Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 3 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

Mothers know!!

Credit: Jeevan

If Only Men Would Listen

A man is driving down a road.

A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction.

As they pass each other , the woman leans out the window and yells:

"PIG"

The man immediatly leans out his window and yells:

"BITCH"

They each continue on their way.

and as the man rounds a curve, he crashes into a huge pig

in the middle of the road and dies.

If only men would listen!

Credit: Bhagawati

My Conversation with Jesus

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day.

I said, "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"

And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."

I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."

And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad."

I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"

He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Seņor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."

Credit: Jeevan

Assicons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called emoticons, where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some ASSICONS?

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

Credit: Bhagawati and Jeevan