Friday Jokes

Hier druecken, um die deutsche Ausgabe zu lesen.
1 - 5th January 2007

www.punyajokes.com

Cartoon of the Day

You can send me a joke.

click on picture to see bigger version

Credit: Uwe

A Mafia Godfather finds out that one of his underlings has screwed him out of ten million bucks. This underling happens to be deaf, so the Godfather brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. 

The Godfather asks the underling, "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" 

The attorney, using sign language, asks the underling where the 10 million dollars is hidden. 

The underling signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." 

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." 

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the underling's temple, cocks it and says, "Ask him again!" 

The attorney signs to the underling, "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" 

The underling signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!" 

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?" 

The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Credit: Uwe

Credit: Anne J.

Illusion on the Lake - Rock Formation on a Birmanian Lake. The picture could only be taken on a particular day in the year due to the way the sun light shines on it. (click on picture to see bigger version)

Credit: Jeevan

 

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you
bought one at a time.” 

The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I’m in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o’me brothers and one for me self.” 

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. 

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. 

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.” 

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. 

“Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. But it hasn’t affected me brothers though.”

Credit: Uwe

Credit: Anne J.

A Blonde Comes Home: Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. 

One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? 

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. 

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. 

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband fooling around with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. |

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. |

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

Credit: Sabine Tr.