send me a joke - www.punyajokes.com Newsletter No. 11 - March 23, 2007
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This week's jokes

Chinese Wedding Night

Air Talk 1

Air Talk 2

Not Going to Iraq

Videos

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Have you missed out on the previous issues?

No. 10 - 16th Mar 2007

No. 9 - 9th Mar 2007

No. 8 - 2nd Mar 2007

No. 7 - 15th Feb 2007

No. 6 - 9th Feb 2007

No. 5 - 2nd Feb 2007

No. 4 - 26th Jan 2007

No. 3 - 19th Jan 2007

No. 2 - 12th Jan 2007

No. 1 - 5th Jan 2007

Chinese Wedding Night

A Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.

Truth be told, he is not all that experienced either.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring," he says, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. What chu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want to try somethin I have heard about... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries...

"You want... Chicken wit broccori?

Credit: KP via Jeevan

Air Talk 1

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign: Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206! Clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, - And I didn't land."

Credit: Bhagawati

Air Talk 2

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

Credit: Bhagawati (she is half German, forgiven?)

Not Going to Iraq

A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. Out of breath he asked, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain WHY later."

The nun agreed.

Just a moment later two Military Police came running along and asked "Sister, have you seen a soldier running by here?" The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq ."

The nun said, "I think I can fully understand your fear." The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either."

Credit: Bhagawati

Biratan

animal foot prints behind lady wearing a fur coat

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it
Credit: www.biratan.com.br

B.Z. Cartoon

the virgins promised to you

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it
Credit: www.bztoons.com

Maxine's last word

people who look like me win the lottery

Credit: Jeevan and Bhagawati