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send me a joke - www.punyajokes.com Newsletter No. 15 - April 20, 2007

A Good Quote

At the end of my salary I always have a lot of month left.

Credit: Chris

Banned Commercial

talk talk video beginning, heart pierced

click on picture to see the video (ext. link)

Credit: Jeevan


spider-lady tied to the bed with web

"Oh honey, this is so kinky!"

Credit: Anne J.

What you can make out of your money

rhino origami with a 1 dollar bill

click on rhino to see more origami$ (ext. link)

Credit: Jeevan

The Record Store Cats

click on cat to see the latest cool cats (ext. link)

Credit: Nisargam, Jeevan, Gemma

Have you missed out on the previous issues?

My (Punya's) Generation

so-called old people making great music

click on picture to see the video - sound on (ext. link)

Credit: Punya

Teenage sex

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

Credit: Bhagawati

Two Crocs

Two Crocodiles are sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and says, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age. We were the same size as kids. I just don't get it?"

"Well," says the big Crock, "what have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replies the small 'Crock.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Parliament House."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em !"

"Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "that's where you're going wrong! You're not getting any real nourishment!"

"You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase!"

Credit: Jeevan

On Marriage and Wives

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. (Sacha Guitry)

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. (Hemant Joshi)

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)

The great question which I have not been able to answer is, "What does a woman want?" (Sigmund Freud)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. (Anonymous)

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. (Henny Youngman)

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. (Sam Kinison)

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. (James Holt McGavran)

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. (Patrick Murray)

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. (Anonymous)

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. (Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

Credit: Jeevan

Why was Man created first than women?

Because experiments are done first on animals.

Credit: Jeevan