Unsubscribe instructions are at the bottom of this email.

send me a joke - www.punyajokes.com Newsletter No. 20 - 25th May 2007
NO PICUTRES? click here - PUNYA FRIDAY JOKES

Who was this in 1968?

face of young who?

drag your mouse over here:   Al Pacino   to see the name

Credit: Jeevan and Bhagawati

Church sign

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it – Credit: Jeevan

And what have you got to smile about?

And what have you got to smile about?

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it – Credit: Jeevan

Have you missed out on the previous issues?

Maxine’s last word

Maxine talking

"How’s this for a political platform: Don’t lie through your teeth!"

Credit: Jeevan and Bhagawati

New Websites

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it looks.

Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ’Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity: www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views: www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island: www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder: www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company: www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software: www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church: www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? www.gotahoe.com

Credit: Jeevan

Friday Wisdom: Finding Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed,"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Credit: Jeevan

Ramblings of a Retired Mind (a warning!)

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is ’when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.’

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

Employment application blanks always ask: "who is to be notified in case of an emergency." I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me; they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Credit: Jeevan

More Friday Wisdom: Hospital Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Credit: Jeevan