Unsubscribe instructions are at the bottom of this email.

send me a joke www.punyajokes.com – design by punyaweb.net Newsletter No. 27 - Friday, 13th June 2007
NO PICTURES? click here - PUNYA FRIDAY JOKES

...by Einstein

Einstein and Chaplin

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.

When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.

That’s relativity."

see bigger version of picture (Einstein with Chaplin) by clicking on it – Credit: Jeevan

Salt Water Fuel (no joke)

Check out this news item – download video by "save target as" on the picture

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it – Credit: Jeevan

How to look silly

see bigger version of picture by clicking on it – Credit: Jeevan

dog attached on fridge

"Well, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?"

see bigger version of ANIMATED picture by clicking on it – Credit:

Have you missed out on the previous issues?

Maxine's last word

Maxine

"If you mated a Bulldog and a Shitzu would it be called Bullshit?"

Credit: Jeevan and Bhagawati

Bad Blond Joke

Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

Credit: Bhagawati

Ambiguities – part 2

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a fly without wings be called a "walk?"

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

Credit: Jeevan

Another Dumb Blonde Joke

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like... HELLO! You need to roll up the windows first."

Credit: Bhagawati

The Tortoise and the Frogs

The frogs who had been out on the tiles were suffering from a terrific hangover. "Oh dear," remarked one, "I wish we had some aspirin." At that moment a tortoise who had ambled by overheard his remarks and said, " Say, you fellows, I will go down to the village and get you some aspirin, if it will be of any help."

"Ah, my dear fellow, would you really? That's most kind of you to offer," replied the frog. And the tortoise started off.

Well, after about two weeks there was no sign of any aspirin or the return of the tortoise. So one frog said to the other, "I say, do you think that tortoise can be relied upon? He has been gone an awfully long time."

At this remark the tortoise, who had been having a quiet rest behind a boulder, said, "If you speak like that behind my back, I jolly well won't go and get that aspirin. So there!"

Credit: Jeevan

Doggies just are...

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
- Franklin P. Jones

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
- Anonymous

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
- Phil Pastoret

Credit: Jeevan / Niketan