Before and after marriage
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to
find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room
on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met
at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother
agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to
upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months
later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
‘You got Male!’"
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day!
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
When insults had class
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
– Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
– Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a
reader to the dictionary."
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
– Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
– Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
– Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play,
bring a friend... if you have one."
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
...followed by Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
– Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
– Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
– John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
– Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
– Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy."
– Walter Kerr
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
– Oscar Wilde